School is an American teenager’s worst nightmare. It is time-consuming, boring, and pointless... we only hope to get out alive. But, there three solutions to get through the most grueling times of our teenage lives: kissing up to teachers, bringing your own lunch, and doing your homework the way YOU want to.
Teachers are going to be your worst enemies from pre-school to your senior year, so you better get them to like you. The easiest way to have this happen is to do whatever the heck these monsters want you to do. They ask you to do the Truffle Shuffle in front of the entire 8th grade, do it. Kissing up also helps when you do something wrong. Teachers have the memories of elephants, they never forget anything... even if it was a minor incident that involved two ravenous cougars and one of Santa’s elves.
School lunches are the most disgusting thing on the face of the planet. Sometimes they look like cardboard with fake meat sauce all over. Maybe these people are culinary maniacs who use recycled shampoo to give their customers a random disease... but that’s just what I think.
The worst thing about school is homework. Teenagers have better things to do, such as watch SpongeBob or demolishing 100 Totino’s Pizza Rolls. So, I came up with the most awe-inspiring solution of all times... “Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.” This quote will solve all teenage problems involving essays, poems, and Geometry homework, allowing us to wreak more havoc across the world.
Those are the three major tips to survive your schooling. To thank me, you can call 555-AWESOME. And just to let you know, you will never use half of the things you learn in high school throughout high school.
Chamalmy
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