I can certainly recall being told of all the strange, cruel things that Mike Munson, perhaps one of the most feared teachers at Trek North, does in class. Grueling essays, long lectures, a spray bottle, excesive homework, and a continuous list of heroes that becomes rather complicated and confusing. While you read this, remember that these are some tips from a student that has taken more than one class with Mike. I know that taking one of Mike's classes may seem discouraging, but there honestly isn't anything to fear - excluding one thing, and only one thing. Whatever you do, do not break his rules.
Rule number one: always come to class prepared. This entails having a notebook, pen or pencil, textbook (if required for the course), and any other materials that you may need out and ready before the bell rings. The sooner materials are out, the higher the likely-hood that you will not get scolded. You must also have your buttocks planted in your chair, assigned seat or not, before the bell rings. Another thing that falls under the category of being prepared for class is simply not talking. If you're talking to people when you should be studying for a quiz you will get called out. Mike really dislikes it. The only exclusion here is the incident in which you may be studying with a classmate. But, in the odd chance that you aren't studying, your mouth should still be shut and your body should be facing forward, waiting for Mike to do something.
Next up, the second rule: don't sit sideways. This really annoys Munson. People who sit sideways are prone to socializing with others and breaking rule number one, which, as previously stated, is a bad idea.
The third, and one of the most important rules . . . if there is anything in the slightest bit irrelevant plaguing your mind, don't ask. Don't even consider it. The only exception to this rule is if there is absolutely and utterly nothing you are supposed to be doing, which is one among the op of the list of highly unlikely things to go on in Mike's classes, ranking with flying pigs and speaking cucumbers.
Rule number four: Don't glaze over. Just please, don't do it. The reults of one partaking in this activity would be a "temporary" talking-to in the Hall of Shame and a "ten minute" lecture about not glazing over, paying attention, etc. Remember: no matter how firm one's belief in the saying "Just because my eyes are glazed over, doesn't mean I'm not listening" is, it doesn't work in Mike's. Don't even try.
Lucky number five! The fifth rule, another considerably important rule, is to not talk when Mike is talking. The consequences of chattiness during lectures and lessons are the same as those for glazing over. Also, on a side note, rule-breaking is also punishable by the recurring spray of a liquid substance to the offending student.
Lastly, the sixth rule. Take notes and do your homework! This should be common sense, as I'm sure Mike will say at least once. All punishments are applicable to the breaking of this rule. And, to be honest, this is a rule in most every other class anybody will take in their educational career. So please, please follow this rule if it is the only rule that you, reader, ever follow.
Mike Munson's classes are not as grueling as they may seem to be, and anybody will walk away with at least one good memory. By keeping these tips in mind along with any others that the man himself may spurt out (remember those for they are important) any given student should walk out just fine. But before you go, let me give you just one more, simple tip. Relax and don't be afraid . . . Mike can smell fear.
-- The Ostrich Empire
